when i doubted.

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i considered this current season as one of uncertainty.. one of struggle. honestly, i didn't think this season would ever end. it's been a long and trying journey, friends. and on august first we are going to embark on a new one.
we're about to enter into a whole new world in a couple days. a world we've never explored, but yet one we've been dreaming of for years. i would say at this point we are a crazy ball of emotions - excited, nervous, honored, saddened, joyful, overwhelmed, anxious.. and the list goes on. we're experiencing both the bitter and the sweet.
i've been absent online and off. it's been refreshing and the lord has been doing a lot of revealing to brandon and myself. we know the lord is calling us into ministry. the only things we didn't know was the when and where. over these past few months he has been revealing his timing and location for us. i recently wrote about wanting to go where the lord leads and he's led us to an amazing opportunity. this opportunity is one that i processed privately and kept quiet. the pages of my journal have the words from my heart. through god's revealing of what the next season looks like for us, he has been refining my heart and drawing me closer to him. he's been showing me those areas that i haven't trusted him. the areas i've doubted his calling on our lives. he's revealed and opened rawness in my heart that i've kept closed off from him, from brandon, from myself. and it's time i surrender them. again. will you hold me accountable?