i apologize for no MENU monday. recipe yesterday. i've been so busy with life that i forgot to take photos of some new recipes i've recently made.. guess i'll have to make them again ;)
[this is a long post.. i apologzie]
[cru.] is a campus ministry that i was highly involved in during college. it's also where i met mr. b!
there is so many wonderful things about that ministry. it was amazing to be able to find a community of people who have the same heart and passion for Jesus.
this ministry seriously changed me and who i am today. i was praying and searching for a Christian ministry to find and get involved with since i was a baby believer when i arrived on the big ol' college campus of 20,000 individuals.
before i moved into my dorm room i met a girl online that i knew was going to be living on the same floor as me. over the summer we built a friendship that led into a deeper friendship when we moved onto campus.
i still remember those days of living on the first floor of stinson. [this freshman dorm was my only option as i opted out of the college meal plans and avoided the freshman fifteen.] sometimes i wish i could go back to those good ol' days of walking 30 minutes to class - except in the winter, that was horrible - the campus was beautiful in the fall. i made the hike to my interior design building each day and seriously loved my classes [for the most part]. in the evenings, i would walk back and hang out with lots of other freshman students. most of them probably don't remember their first year of college as much as i do...
i was teased hard core my freshman year because i was one of the very few that didn't drink or party. i did too much in high school - and when i met Jesus, that was one of the first things i threw out of my lifestyle. there were times when excessive drinking stepped back in.. but nothing like high school. [this was the other way i also kept off the freshman 15..]
i didn't mind being teased. i knew i was different and it was an opportunity to share why i didn't party like the rest of the college campus. eventually those friendships fizzled and it was too hard not having 'equally yoked' community.
so i started praying for community.
this is when the Lord brought [cru.] into my life.
it was no coincidence either, i was in the lobby of my dorm surfing the internet and i overheard a group of girls talking about Jesus and purity. [two things i am still oh so passionate about].
it instantly caught my attention so i walked over and introduced myself.
from there on it was such an amazing season of growth for me and my walk with Jesus.
i wouldn't trade it for anything.
while studying interior design and being so highly involved with this ministry, i didn't have a whole lot of extra time. i was finding myself pulling all nighters to get my studio projects finished and putting together a bible study for the next day. i was slowly losing interest and stretched way too thin.
the director of my program pulled me aside one day and mentioned that he could see i was starting to slip.
it was that day i was hurt by the director of that program when he told me my junior year that i would need to choose.. either my faith and involvement with the [cru.] movement or my career. and it would be impossible for me to be accepted into the program doing both. [man.. sometimes i wish i would have proved him wrong.. but again, at this time my entire heart wasn't in it]
this was a no brainer for me. it still isn't, even though i really miss interior design classes.
i still have my drafting table and supplies and like to sketch stuff up just for fun. i even saved all my books too.
my faith is much more important to me. being obedient to Christ is much more important to me.
i am so thankful the Lord opened my eyes to the idea of women's ministry. i ended up transferring schools and earning my degree in biblical/theology studies. i know there are so many women out there who i would love to sit down with over a cup of coffee and hear their story and what the Lord is teaching them. i have such a strong passion for this. i am so eager to do this someday and walk along side of women of various ages.
but this calling doesn't remove my longing for interior design. the Lord spoke to me and said 'ministry is your priority, interior design is your hobby.' and i still believe that is true. but i really miss it.. just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes because i loved it and i was so close to a degree and didn't finish. sometimes i've thought about going back.. but i don't want or need more debt.
i am very right brained. my job is.. like.. as left brained as you can get. so i feel trapped. i don't like feeling trapped. i think that's why i'm longing to do something creative. i work 9-10 hour days and sit behind a desk the. entire. time. then i get home and i'm so mentally exhausted that i don't even feel like going down to my craft room to make something. this hurts my heart.
but the Lord is at work in me. i know he is.. and for that reason i still have hope knowing one day, i will enter into women's ministry. and i know i will have the opportunity to use those right brained gifts and talents i've been blessed with. even if that means i never earn my degree in design or take the ncidq.
God has just recently opened up some doors for me and i am SO excited to share them with you.. but i have to wait just a llllliiiiitttllleee longer before sharing and celebrating!
ps.. if you just finished reading this entire post.. you are amazing and i SO appreciate your reading :)