Silence

This week showed me how much more I need silence in my life. As I said in my last post, silence and solitude are so crucial to my relationship with God. I get too caught up in the busyness of life that I am not able to even know when the Lord is speaking to me. It's so hard to go about life when the world is shouting at me about how I need to please other people, get all my stuff done for school and work, as well as being highly involved in fellowship and community with others. I've had the mind set that if I sit back and take some time to be in silence that I am in some way being lazy and/or unproductive. Our culture has formed us into being individualistic people that are only worried about our own lives and how to become successful by always being on the go.

In the midst of having a busy life like most others, this week I took time to practice silence. It was a huge blessing! I was able to breathe and experience peace and relief instead of stressing and thinking about what I needed to be doing next. "The discipline of silence invites us to leave behind the competing demands of our outer world for time alone with Jesus." - Calhoun. The biggest way I practiced the discipline of silence was turning off my radio for the entire week. I commute to school about 45 minutes each way - and I go to school 5 days a week. This means I was able to spend a hour and a half each day to pray and listen to the Spirit of God.

Relinquishing the false self was the goal of our disciplines this week. "Silence offers a way of paying attention to the Spirit of God and what he brings to the surface of our souls." - Calhoun.
God spoke to me in great ways this week through silence. There were times when I got distracted and I began to worry, but made the decision to turn those thoughts and worries into prayers. The distractions slowly began to leave. My thoughts about the things I needed to get done also began to disappear during those times. I could sense the love and presence of God all around. He continued to remind me each day that I am his daughter. That alone is so moving me to. The God of this entire universe loves and cares so much about me that he calls me his daughter. I am a daughter of the Most High King! Just reflecting on those truths show me where my identity is. I was able to break away from the idols and pressure of having to be successful in life, making a lot of money, having the American dream family and life. God reminded me of my true calling - I am called to do ministry. I am called to be obedient to God's will and reach people, especially women, with the gospel of Jesus Christ. At the end of my life, it's not going to be about how big my house is, how much money I make, what car I drive, the people I know, etc. Instead, it will be about the lives I touch, the people I share the love of Christ with and the souls that are saved through the work of God.

It was so refreshing to spend those times in silence. Now I am looking forward to more times where I can be open and available to sit before the Lord and allow the Spirit to guide me in the direction of God's great plan for my life. The more I practice silence the easier it is to hear the still small voice of God and his will among the yelling lies the world trys to deceive me with.

Luke 5:16 says that "But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed." Jesus needed those moments of silence to be alone with the Father. I want to continue to remember this and follow after Jesus' ways and also withdraw to places of silence to be alone with God.